Don't Take This Risk
by itsyoboii
Summary: One faithful call turned everything around for you, a chance call between two strangers. One seeking help from his hopelessness and insecurities. Your words are his only salvation from darkness and pain. Everything falls onto what you say. How far would you go to help someone?
1. Forword

**Synopsis**. One faithful call turned everything around for you ,a chance call between two strangers, one seeking help from his hopelessness and insecurities. Your words are his only hope to rid him off his darkness and pain. Everything falls onto what you say. How far would you go to help someone?

* * *

 **Authors note** \- Age restriction rating to this is at high, mature audiences only. Sexual and Suicidal themes are used. Characters, Dialogs and Ideas are loosely based on the game of Poison Apple Tale's "Don't take this risk". I place no claim of with any of the used characters within this fiction. DTTR is a virtual novel game created by poison apple tales, its free to play and I recommend playing it. I find it interesting and very fun despite the theme, having said that, There be SPOILERS. Also the game reminded me of AMNESIA (anime) soooo we'll borrow the concept! One more thing, before proceeding to the actual fiction. I would like to remind everyone that romance and word play aside.

Depression and suicide are **NOT** games. People suffer because of it and are in dire need of support and love.

 **If you or someone you know of is dealing with emotional / suicidal crisis. Call the Lifeline hotline:**

 **1-800-273-8255**

Be careful everyone, stay safe and know that all is not lost. There is always the sun behind the clouds. You can get through this shadow, we believe you could. Do it for us and everyone you care for. Most importantly, do it for yourself.

We all love you.


	2. Ending 9 : Bystander

**Ending 9: Bystander**

You came home from work, exhausted. Feet heavy and awfully sore, taking one meek step with your left foot, you are immediately greeted with a great deal of protest. Your foot shot painful heat as it began bracing your weight. The skin besides your toe and the rest of your digits screams with ache. It felt as if their were a small jagged shaped pebble forcibly wedging itself under your nails and skin. Willing yourself to lift your aching right foot, prolonging the tension with the former, the relief came plunging in when you finally plucked up the most uncomfortable two-inched heels, that are also undoubtedly the poorest excuse of a work shoes, from each foot. Dealing with that ordeal, you gave small hisses as the pads of your feet met the cold uncarpeted floor. Your took it upon yourself to look up, breathing in the quiet air of your home. Exhaling deeply out of your lungs, shoulders slumping as you did so. Once you stepped inside the brick walls that you call your home. You felt the weight of everything has been heaved off your shoulders... until tomorrow comes with its bright morning rays that would burn the skin off your arms. You turned the T.V. on; flipped through obtuse channels until settling to a somewhat dull but interesting program. They were talking about suicidal tendencies, depression, and the difference of the former to loneliness in all of its shapes and form, at the bottom of the screen; flashing on and off was the number for the suicide prevention hotline. Before you were even aware of you actions, you grabbed and written those numbers on a piece of paper. You checked the numerals as you gave your pen a small twirl between your fingers before settling the parchment on the coffee table with the weight of the pen, holding it down. The T.V. was barely audible to you, just random blabs and blurbs from some well-informed doctor in a fancy tailored suit. You faintly noticed that the host was a man of profession, even though their words harbored sentimentality and respect. The host seems not at all intrigued, and for a faint frame, the doctor was deathly annoyed at the host's lie-driven enthusiasm.

After a few moments, you turned the television off. Locked your doors and windows, grabbed your phone and thought of heading to bed. Your apartment was not very spacious nor was it cluttered, there are only three decent rooms, one being the living room, severed into two. At one end that stood as the kitchen and dining place, to your left was the shower room and laundry area, then next to it was your bedroom. Everything is at its place and nothing seemed to change. You do not know why you were suddenly looking for changes. Shrugging off the thought, you settled on a chair, eating a fruit from the fruit bowl placed lazily at the center of your table, as you ate your small snack. Phone in hand anchored by your palm, held gingerly in place with your fingers, your thumb bent, scrolling through your contents on your device. You decided against sleep for a little while longer. You were tired yes, but not so much as to get early sleep. You skimmed through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media looking through articles, videos, images and the like. You see pictures of smiling people, adventure and life, cute puppies, kittens, piglets dressed up in colorful sweaters and delightful homemade desserts. Despite the fanciful and charming color scheme, looking at it made you feel empty, the only sound was the occasional buzzing of cars driving past your apartment, then the crunch of the apple protruding as you bit into it's soft shelled flesh, while ignoring its juice dripping down its skin onto your wrist.

You almost dropped your phone when it started to vibrate. The screen went blank for a split second before pushing out a seemingly important notification. In written in big fonts, white letters flash and read _unknown number_. You were skeptical. Raising an eyebrow, and slightly unnerved and annoyed. _Should you dare to answer it?_ Your thumb hovered over the _Accept_ button for a second longer, letting the phone's shaking animation tweak and shake afore pressing it.

The voice that came over the other line sounded _calm and alluring_.

"H-hello?" He began. He sounded very nervous. "This is … this is the suicide hotline, yes?"

Time stopped, your breathing faltered in a instant. _Suicide Hotline. T_ hose small words managed to drain all of the blood from your body, your skin crawled and your mind had suddenly blanked only the sudden jump of your system left your heart pumping adrenaline. Something screamed _Red Alert_ within you. Your mind in full attention. Despite your initial reaction, you were pushed on by another thought. _Maybe this is just some cruel joke._

"Um… no, it isn't" you answer, your voice straining as it was lounged in your throat.

"No?" he replied "Oh, _Oh_. I see. Yes. This is clearly a sign that I should not have called…"

You felt your chest tighten, hearing the tone of his voice laced with sadness and disappointment, his accent was heavy French but that realization came at second place in your mind. The emotions on his sentence tugged your heart in different places.

"It was my mistake" He continued again for a moment. _Should you say something?_ "I will hang up now" He said, his voice distant.

"No! Hold on, let me give you the right number" You say frantically jumping out of your slump; you spot the lone paper on the coffee table.

He _chuckles_ although it only played your emotions downwards "there's no need"

You were halfway across the room, reaching for the paper. The tip of your finger pressed down onto the textured surface, wary and afraid for this man's well-being.

"What I said earlier, it was a careless joke. Do not think any more about it," the stranger continued. The lump in your throat grew and suddenly you can barely breathe.

There was silence on both end, before he spoke "Good bye now"

"Promise me you'll get help" You managed to say, you try to be hopeful and sweetly. Hoping he would pick up your tone and change.

"I don't need it.," he said rather forcefully. It felt like a bullet just went through your heart. _He_ is in _too deep_.

"Please don't kill yourself," You say again this time your tone was close to begging. This wasn't the time to be vague, if this person were to be believed. You should be outward on delivering such a serious message... _shouldn't you?_ The words slid like a sharp jagged knife it felt rotten and had left a metallic bloody taste of grime. You hope against hope that he would come through.

"I won't" The stranger said dully. Your heart sank it was too late. He ended the call. You stared onto the screen. The digits having been recorded in your phone book. The time of your conversation only took you a minute and fifty seconds.

You heard the hard and heavy thump of the apple as you brokenly dropped the fruit atop the furniture, while it rolled off to face your fear-stricken expression, the gaping hole of your bite visible and vicious. You suddenly want to go to bed. You felt the lightness and your visions blurring into dim blacks and foggy darkness, leaving the phone on the table with its screen blank. You stumbled through your house, each step heavy and light at the same time. You managed to find your bed, and had wrapped yourself in your blanket, emotions are nulled, nothing but blank fear and guilt. Sleep had took over you quicker than you expected.

 _You woke up_

It felt like you have been asleep for hours, but the sight you see took you off guard. Your head was not resting on your pillow; you were not engulfed in your blankets. No, you are again sitting on the chair of your dining area, with a half-eaten apple on one hand and your phone on your left. You frantically searched around your house, nothing changed. No one was there.

 _Was it all a dream?_

Your phone vibrated, the screen flashed revealing an unknown caller. You pressed, "Accept". Your whole body tensed and time seemed to stop in place, you felt a cold hand hover on your spine, and you felt sick and confused. _What was going on?_

The voice that came over was _calm and alluring_.

"Hello?" he began "This is … This is the suicide hotline, yes?"


	3. Ending 1 : Out of Breath

**Ending 1: Out of Breath**

Your head spun like a top, hitting everything it manages to come near to before spiraled downwards into a vast plains of black. It remained like that for sometime, before the darkness seemed to lighten and soften. You didn't feel like getting up at all. The gnawing throbbing in your head didn't leave any indication of being hit hard, but more as if you were stunned. _Was it all a dream?_ Coming to your senses. You pressed the home button of your phone then scanned the call log. You found no unknown numbers. The dream, if you could even call it _a dream_ , had felt very _real_. Time did not pass at all according to your phone's clock, you were certain that you were in bed. Nothing made sense.

You stood and paced around the room, you looked at the wall clock, then at the blank screen of your television. You turned it on; the program that greeted you was the Suicidal Prevention program. The same doctor and the same host, you turned it off again. Nothing has changed. Walking back to your table, you grabbed the apple, looking at it as if it has answers. You sigh and placed the fruit down, slumping into your chair. Bringing your head back, watching the ceiling. Nothing notable. You leaned on the table, using your arms as cushion for your head, taking long inhales and exhales. You aimed for your heart to stop pounding and rid the sudden ringing in your ears. Lifting your head up once your breathing calmed and shoulders relaxed, eyes closed suppressing the hollow feeling of helplessness and fear. Misplaced emotions started to stir. Your phone vibrated, the screen flashed revealing someone contacting you.

You could have jumped, or you couldn't. You can feel your bowels stirring in many places. Your composure declining in a pace that was too fast for your liking. You felt as if your soul left your body only to come rushing back when your eyes flashed back at the text on your phone screen. _Unknown Number_. You pressed, "Accept". Your whole body tensed and time seemed to stop in place, you felt a cold hand hover on your spine, and you felt sick and confused. _What was going on?_

The voice that came over was _calm and alluring_.

"Hello?" he began "This is … This is the suicide hotline, yes?"

It was him. He was alive… _It was a dream after all_. Mentally preparing yourself, you want to get to the bottom of this. You are not letting this man fall.

"you have the wrong number" you replied, calm yet forced.

"Oh" he replied, " _Oh_ , I see. Yes. This is clearly a sign that I should not have called" The line was already familiar to you. You were beginning to doubt if it was a dream. "I will hang up now"

"Wait, you're not going to hurt yourself. Are you?" You pressed, your voice audibly shaking.

He seems taken aback from your concern. His voice was confused and for a second you felt that he sounded hopeful and desperate. "Why?"

"It is not like you know me on a personal level," he continued, full of false resolve and cynical. "There is no one who cares about me. No one who loves me. I do not matter"

You felt your heart being tugged, how could he think of such things. What about his family? His friends? They surely love him.

"All people matter" you replied with a strained voice. A desperate try, sounding to be kind and soft. You were sure that he saw through your voice. You were already afraid.

"It's good you think that way" He sighed. "In that case, do not worry" His voice gave him off. You cling to whatever is left of your optimism. "I will not hurt myself" He ended the call.

You did not trust him. You had to make sure. The dream was still fresh in your memory. You called him. No answer, it went straight to voicemail, not satisfied, you started to text him, no reply. You gave more texts to him again, and then a few more times before you finally receive a message from his number.

 _You are persistent_

 _You_

 _You you_

 _You_

 _Ha-ha what a funny word_

 _Actually, wait lol is the right term for that is it not._

 _But I'm not lolling on the floor_

 _Wait that's not what it means, does it?_

 _hahaha_

"Are you feeling alright?" You texted back. Dread started succumbing into you.

 _nooooo?_

 _Sort of_

 _I'm just DRUNK_

 _i-n-e-b-i-r-a-t-e-d_

 _that's a pretty word, prettier sound_

 _not entirely right though_

His messages came by the dozen, texting about getting high and using pills. This man is clearly in danger.

You sent him another text, getting desperate. You felt yourself shake. "Where are you?"

 _I'm in the middle of_ _ **nowhere**_

 _Hey hey you aren't trying to find out where I am_

 _So you can send help_

 _Are you?_

Why was he so difficult all of the sudden? Why was he so persistent of ending his life? You had received more messages from him, incoherent messages nothing useful. You kept trying, asking where he was, what his neighborhood was like. Suggesting the hospital, only receiving replies of him thinking that the nurses were _sexy_ but will not give the notion of actually going there. You suggested that policewomen were to and that he should try calling _them_. Nothing.

No replies

You sent another text to him. Calling him again, it leads to voice message. You sent another and another. He came back, explaining that he blacked out. Telling you thinks about changing his background before he dies. You froze. _What do I do?_

More messages. Nothing but useless blabbers. You pressed on.

 _icantbreathe_

 _helpme_

 _help_

"Where are you?" you sent, your fingers trembling and so is your body. Fear struck you; this was not what you are hoping for. Panic and dread, tears were already forming. What can you do? How can you help him? More incoherent text.

 _cantbreathe_

 _helpme_

 _help_

You called him. The sound you heard from the other line made your heart clench and blood drain. He was chocking, desperate for air. You called out, hoping this was a joke. Hoping that everything was a dream. You felt yourself fall on the floor on your knees, eyes already streaming with hot tears. The call ended. You dialed the police.

You had no useful information…

You have no way of helping him…

 _You failed._

* * *

Authors' note: probably the most scarring ending for me. Not fun. Wah, the things I do for passion… I had to play again haha! Just to have it close enough to the game!


	4. Ending 5 : Gun

**Chapter 3**

 **Ending 5 : …**

The last thing you remembered was the sound of your sobbing before passing out. You woke up on your dining table. Holding a half-eaten apple, it has no indication of turning brown from being exposed in air. The juice that ran down your wrist felt sticky. You didn't notice that before. Lifting your head up, getting a migraine, your head pounding and throbbing from the pain it managed to get.

You let the apple roll on the table, it stopped when it hits the wall. The bitten part faced you, mocking you, why has the apple suddenly brought annoyance to you? You stood, and walked to the kitchen sink, washing the juice that was left on your wrist. You turned and sat back down on your chair, afraid of whatever is on the dining table. You felt youry heart beating, small hitches would occasionally stop you from breathing, you hugged your knees close to your chest.

Your eyes didn't leave your phone, you waited for it to vibrate. Minutes passed, nothing happened. It made you worry, but it also made you sigh in relief. Misplaced feelings, unidentified ones, confusing ones. You don't know what to expect anymore.

Your phone vibrated. The screen showed the text, you whisper out the words as you read it. _Unknown Number_.

You pressed "Accept".

"Hello?"

The same song and dance, you had already memorized it, you offered to give him the correct contact number, he rejected it. Explaining that he was merely a sick form of a careless joke. His voice sadder and sadder every time you hear them, it made you want to save him even more, before he could hang up you spoke.

"Calling me by accident isn't a sign of anything" your tone was strong, but you pressed on. He seems to have noticed, his voice shifted apologetically. "I know"

"But it's given me time to realize that I shouldn't rush into anything"

"So, don't worry I won't – myself " he paused and you could have sworn that he made a reaction of shooting himself with his fingers. Your fingers clenched tighter around your phone. You didn't realize you were biting your lip in aggravation. You released the tension.

"I don't believe you" You say, frustration and annoyance and unknown emotions settling in.

"I'm hurt. You don't even know me, and I've given you no reason to doubt me"

"aside from that rather unpleasant joke I made in the beginning" he chuckles, airy and lighthearted, even for a little while you felt your heart flutter.

"Ah… I wonder though, what is it to you?" He asked "What is it to you if I live or die ?" He didn't let you reply, as he went on and talked. "I am a stranger to you. I could be halfway across the world from you… And even if I was not, you would only find something to despise, something to hate." You heard him hiss at himself, he clearly is ashamed of what he has become. "Someone who is unloved and so undeserving of love…is only a waste of space, no?"

"Such a person should not live." He sighs

"Why do you think you don't deserve love?" You ask. You need to make him talk, talking was good. Talking means progress.

He replies, his voice seemed surprise "I think the better question is, why would I deserve it?"

"What have I done to make myself so unworthy of it?" You remained silent, he continues "Heh. Let me not scandalize you. Don't worry. I am of little consequence to anyone now…There is no one I know, and no one who knows me."

You lie "I know you" the words were sour and it felt wrong. His reply was no different, both of you were not far from fact.

"Not really. This is a chance call between two strangers." He sounded offended, you had to bite your tongue "Why would you care what happens to me? Why would it be any of your business?" You don't have an answer to his question. You remained silent as he continues.

"You do not know me. You do not love me…"

The sudden pound of your heart urged you to say the words. It has surprised you that it came so naturally. "You're wrong. I do love you" Having said them out loud your own heart fluttered about, the words hanging above you, mocking, and judging your actions as if it was something terrible. All to well, you felt the consequences it harbors. _You are leading him to false hope_.

Silence took over before he spoke again.

"Do you really mean that, Miss?" You felt words get caught in your throat. You can't answer. "You love me?" You opened you mouth to say something, but no words formed. "I…" he paused "…want to see you" You felt your breathing hike. This was all going too fast.

"Please come see me, Mademoiselle." You could hear the desperation from his voice. "my lovely mademoiselle…what is your name?"

"Who are you? Tell me who you are" You could hear the crack of his voice, as if he was about to cry. Dare you say your name? Dare you give out such a personal thing to a complete stranger? Your lips formed and your voice didn't taper. You told him your name, and he repeated them lovingly.

He sighs as if the sound of your name was the only leverage he was seeking for, his only salvation. "What a beautiful sound"

"Will you come see me?"

It took you a moment to weigh your options. Apparently it was longer than you anticipated, he called your name again. Snapping back to reality. "Y-yes, I'll come see you" You agreed.

"I'll be waiting" he said, for the first time since all night. He sounded happy. "Oh, let me give you the directions to my house. Where are you coming from?"

This stranger was enthusiastic about this. You figured that you can call the prevention hotline or the police and give this address but … despite everything. Despite all former reason, you decided against it. Guilt prevented you, it was that feeling that had chained you. You have played him into believing that you loved him. You knew that this man was too desperate for love that he disregarded any logic of this meet-up. How could you live with yourself by pawning him off to someone else.

You do care for this stranger. You want to save him. Deep inside, you know you want to or maybe that's just your self-righteousness talking, maybe you just need to have the feeling of responsibility of his death removed. Either way, you grabbed your jacket, stuffing your phone inside its pockets and slipped a pair of flat boots then proceeded to locking your house half-hazardly.

You checked you phone, he has sent you his address. It was a bus ride from your street. You could arrive there within five minutes. You sent him a message, as if to reassure him that she wasn't ditching. No replies. Your heart fell.

It took less than five minutes, you were already infront of his doorway. You gave a few taps on his door. He opened it, revealing himself. You couldn't make out the rest of his face. From the dim light of his home, he looked shriveled and a mess. He smelled of alcohol and … various other odors. His hair was tangled and long, his face was hidden from you, he appears to be wrapped around in his blanket.

"You really came" He envelopes you in his arms into a tight embrace. You had the option to push him away or hug him back. You didn't do either of those. Your shoulders tensed and your whole system was on high alert. What you are doing was dangerous. You do not have any idea what this person is capable of doing.

"Come, come, have a seat" He takes you hand and invites you into the room. He leads you to sit on the edge on the bed. He sits rather close to you, he never let go of your hand. You don't need to see his eyes to know that he is watching you. You could feel his eyes scanning every inch of your body. You felt exposed and naked.

"I can't believe you really exist. "

"You are so beautiful"

He begins to stroke the back of your knuckles with his thumb. "Can I fetch you anything? A bite to eat, a glass to drink?" You stare at your hands, face flushing red at his touch. "If you're cold, I can warm you up" He laughs when you suddenly lifted your gaze at him. He seems to like watching your reactions.

"I'm good"

He leans towards you, lifting your chin up, as if to kiss you. You pull away, quite suddenly. "Not so fast" you say, he stops and lowers his eyes.

"Very well. As you wish, dearie." He didn't seem unnerved by it. He still hasn't let go of your hand.

"There's so much I want to do with you. So much I want to know about you." He began, watching over your frame. You regret everything. "I want to hear everything about you" he whispered, a smile on his lips.

You sigh, you can't do this. You can't take this any longer "Sure, Can we do this in the morning?" you asked, faintly pulling away from his hand.

His smile dropped, it made your heart clench and stop. You could feel his pain.

"You aren't staying?" His fingers tighten around yours. "I don't want to be alone tonight, my love" His voice breaking, you could see his darkness claiming him.

"I… I'm not comfortable staying here. " you reasoned. His grip tightened, afraid to let go. "We can go to a hotel if that's better…" he sounded so desperate. "Where do you want to stay? … I'll go wherever you want."

You placed both your hands on his own. You Looking at him with pleading eyes.

"I'll come back tomorrow, okay? Trust me" You managed to remove your hands from his, he was shaking, heartbroken. His voice pained you, it felt like needles were piercing into you.

He begs "Please don't go"

You let go, your foot steps heavy as you walked out of his home, you didn't remember closing the door. Not even having the chance to breathe, your ears rang painfully by the sound of a gunshot. You spun around then threw open the door. What greeted you is his lifeless body on the ground, blood pooling from the streams of his nose and mouth, a bullet wound through his head stared gaping at you. You stopped, both hands clasped on your mouth, your eyes busted into tears. _No. nononono…_ You fell on your knees, shaking from the sight of blood and his tear filled corpse. _What have I done?!_

You left him

You broke his heart

 _You failed._


	5. Ending 4 : Manslaughter

**Chapter 4**

 **Ending 4: Manslaughter**

Author's Note: Probably my favorite ending alongside with Bleeding Out. The best deaths in my opinion.

* * *

You woke up with tears streaming down your eyes. You were back in your small apartment home. The apple on one hand, your phone on the other. The haunting memory of his dead faces staring into your soul. _You could have saved him. You could have saved him that time…_ In rage, you threw the apple across the living room. It fell with a harsh thud on the floor, sinking into your own darkness you cried. Stuck in a loop you don't know what's real, stuck with a stranger who kills himself, stuck with the ceaseless guilt knotting your chest and piercing your heart.

Your pity party over and silence once again took over. The vibration of your phone jolt you awake. You answered. Words already dull in your mouth. You told him your love he fell for you instantly. You clench your teeth. _Why am I doing this_? He gave you your address being the second time you walked his street. The night was cold and you missed the warmth of your home. You left your jacket, seeming to have forgotten. The reflection of the doorknob showed your tired face.

Composing yourself, you knocked. He greeted you with his warm embrace, you were tempted to hug back, and you wanted his warmth. You didn't move. He leads you in the room, both of you settled on the edge of his bed. He had no intentions of releasing your hand. You became aware on how tightly he has a hold of you. He offered to get you some drink or snack. He offered his own warmth and you wanted to nod.

"I don't want you to kill yourself" you found yourself saying. Looking through his mess of hair under the blanket covering his head. Tears threatened to come to. He shifts his hands to interlace his warm fingers with yours.

"Darling, as long as you are with me that thought will be the farthest thing from my mind"

He leans forward towards you, in the heat of the moment, you met his half way pressed your lips against his. You felt as if the kiss could consume you. The heat of the moment grew around your body warming everything as his hands drew you closer. He whispers his intensions; you felt his need and desperation. _What have you gotten yourself into?_

"I'd rather hear everything about you…" You say in a whisper, your own breathing ragged as you felt your heart beat ringing in your own ears. He was too close for your liking, but you have only yourself to blame for the situation. Hadn't you indulged him. He would have kept his distance, or at the very least respect your personal space.

"What do you want to know, love?" he asks.

"Why… why did you want to kill yourself?" you ask, your voice trembled.

"What else do I have to live for? Who else?" He holds your hand closer to himself, you felt his hot breath on your skin. "That pain… that cold, dark, hollow pain was gnawing at me. Endlessly-ceaselessly." He pauses, you felt your heart clenched at his pain. This man has been through so much, and only you can bring him out of his dark prison. The blanket on his head shifts as he looks up to your eyes. "That is why I'm glad I have you now."

Silence loomed over and you feel yourself loosing, too tired to talk, too tired to think. Tired of the loops, tired of the deaths, tired of the guilt and will.

He spoke pulling you out of your own darkness. "Can I ask you something?"

You met his eyes, under the hair and blanket. "Why do you love me?" You don't. He is a stranger, you know nothing about him, you weighed your words carefully. Choosing the most vague of words to answer. "Why not?"

"Why not? Because I am a stranger" He didn't seem pleased by the answer, "Because I could be a murderer, for all you know" he ended with a sigh. You look up, did he see through your lies? Your heart sank when he smiles and came with his reply. "But don't worry. Even if I am, I wouldn't kill you or anyone else you care for… Because I love you."

Ridding yourself of the lump on your chest, you spoke just as softly. "Then, Do something for me…"

"Anything"

"Call the suicide hotline" you say without hesitation.

He frowned and his fingers loosened. "So, it's about that? "The reason you said you loved me, the reason you're acting like you care…" his voice was annoyed and heartbroken, you found yourself being drawn into his darkness.

"You want me to call the hotline-to pawn me off to somebody else" He looks at you disgusted, it felt horrible, your mind flashed his dead face in front of you. You grabbed his hand, bounding it to yours, to stop him from doing anything rash.

"I didn't say I didn't love you!"

"Do you?" He sets his hand right beside your hip, as he leans forward closer to your lips. A breaths distance away.

"You don't know what kind of man I am" he replies, his voice low and purring. "Or just how hungry I am" he lowered his face, drinking his fill of your features. You had been tense all night, and knots start to form all around your stomach. You had your hands ready to push him away, but you kept them in place.

"I want to eat you up, Mademoiselle" Gulping down your fear, you firmly replied "You don't scare me"

He smiles ravenously. "But I should."

He presses his mouth against yours, his soft warm lips spreading slowly apart, you felt his tongue brush against your lower lip. Eyes wide, you hand hit him sharply across his face. Your cheeks red and hot, you could still feel his breath linger in you. The spirit of his lips not leaving your mouth, it tasted sweet like a slow dripping aftertaste. He laughs, light and air. You had enough of him, you wanted to scream and hit him again. How dare he violate you in such a way. Why did you even have the pity to save him? , as you withdraw your hand, he catches your offending wrist in an easy grasp.

"You really aren't scared of me, are you?" His gaze on you melted all the anger, it stripped you off your frustrations and left you naked. "Then, do you want to play, love?"

You threw your whole weight at him pushing him down on the bed. Down on all fours, knees apart and placed next just above his hips, arms on placed each side of his head. His hand was still wrapped around your wrist. You heard him grunt upon impact, you felt your shoulder were sore from the sudden force. Worried you had cost him pain, you faced him. He laughs again, slowly degrading to a slow chuckle.

"You win" he smiles at you, that soul eating grin that made your skin crawl all over. "Now what, Kitten?"

 _Kitten._ That somehow made you smile, did he really call you that. You felt his thumb running against your wrist, patiently and hungrily. It felt nice.

"I'm calling the police" you said in a firm whisper. His thumb stopped and his grip went from soft to vise.

"And tell them what?" He quipped "That I attacked you? That I want to end my miserable existence?" You see him shaking, almost into tears. He laughs darkly after a moment. He smiles again. "That's fine… that's fine. I have a gun on my desk. I suggest you shoot me and put me out of my misery"

You stiffened, clenching the sheet from below your palms.

"Because I'm going to bite my tongue off"

Your eyes widened. "You wouldn't-" you heard yourself whisper in disbelief, but he didn't hear you and just proceeded to do so. You panicked, trying to pry his mouth open. In sheer distress you rammed his head against the wall. Your vision blurred and you are left with blood dripping onto your wrist. He fell on his bed, not moving. Blood continued to flow off his temple, you clasped both your bloody hands on your mouth to prevent you from screaming.

 _You killed him_

 _You ran_

 _You failed_


	6. Ending 8 : Unknown

**Chapter 5**

 **Ending 8: Unknown**

You ran from his home, tripping over small bumps and dips in crease. Tearing the skin on your palm, cheeks and knees. You felt no pain from any of the scratches and cuts. An officer doing rounds spotted you in the distance. He called out to you but you ran further from him. Your shirt was stained with his blood from your hands. You had actually murdered him, you had actually murdered an innocent person. The officer caught you, cutting off your exit by driving in front of you.

You wished that you would have been run over. Maybe the loop will end when you're dead, you can't take any more of this madness. The officer held your shaking shoulders. His firm grip provided support and balance, his voice was concerned but calm, his eyes scans your body, looking for any signs of injury when he found the trail of blood stains. He stiffened and begun to talk to the radio clasped on his shoulder.

" _No! nononono … I didn't kill him I swear!"_ You began to shout, yelling out defiance and denial. When the police held you from hitting yourself, you kicked and growled, pushing and pulling away from his clutches.

"Miss! Calm yourself down! " he reasoned. You continued to fight against him. He had already you locked into a tight embrace, tucking your shoulders in with your elbows close to your torso. You scream and kick and jump trying to break free from his arms. Another officer came rushing to aid his fellow officer, they had already managed to restrain you. After minutes of grueling fighting for your release, they have managed to calm you down. The adrenaline and blood already draining, you felt your face flush and from that you're gone.

You woke up at home. In the same spot, the same phone, the same half eaten apple. Your clothes were dry. You had no indications of injury, no sign of any stain. Your wrist were again sticky with apple juice. You had not let go of the apple. Your fingers were tightly wrapped around it. The soft pads of your palm and fingers were starting to redden. You felt yourself shaking, bring the apple close as you cried your tears. Wet salty tears mixing in with the juice of the fruit. You didn't care.

Your phone vibrates. You didn't bother to look at the screen, your thumb pressed "Accept". Hearing his voice brought you relief, and a drop of hope. "you have the wrong number" your voice was dry despite your feelings towards the stranger.

He replies with the same lines. You once again offered to give him the correct contact number. He again declines. You told him not to hurt himself, he assured you. Empty assurance, empty hope, empty promise. You called him back with no answer. You called him again, nothing. You called again, he sent his messages. The same incoherent, worthless, pointless messages but in between them something new was sent that you have not yet to see.

 _I'm glad you tried to reach me_

 _Although I would like to see someone in person_

 _That would be better_

 _Oh well_

 _Beggars can't be choosers, no?_

You didn't reply to his messages, you just let him text you more incoherent, painfully useless messages like before. Slowly the beep of your phone had died down. No more messages received. You hugged your knees closer, letting the darkness of your home consume you. Nothing you have done has worked to save him, nothing you have done worked to stop this horror-filled loop.

You don't want to feel compelled to save this stranger

You don't want to feel responsible for his death

You don't want to stay in this loop any more…

You didn't fall asleep and time passed so very slowly. You figured that the stranger have already killed himself now. You felt horrible about leaving him alone, you felt how dark his worlds was. The night keeps resetting but your memories of him were all intact. You touched your lips as if to feel his on yours. Your body didn't react to the memory because it never happened.

Deep down though you could feel the slight thump of something indescribable, untouchable… a unknown thing coiling around you. If you sleep, you'll wake up again, staring at the same stupid apple, same stupid table and same stupid phone. Waiting for his same lonely voice … same quiet cry for help.

You want to be selfish

You want this to end

You want to forget everything

You want to forget _everything_ about him, about his situation, about his need, about his darkness, about his voice, about his kiss, his embrace. He had so much to give.

 _You fell asleep_


	7. Ending 6 : Bleeding Out

Chapter 6

Ending 6 – Bleeding Out

Authors Note: Oh dear. What is happening?. Let's try something different

You found yourself conscious again, but you didn't open your eyes just yet. You felt the pricks and sharp pinches of tears breaking your composure. All the lively colors that once made your face warm has now been washed out. The tears kept flowing down, bulging in size and drops. You couldn't even see anything pass them. You're exhausted … completely drained.

Your body ached as if you have been crushed a hundred times over. You could barely move. After a minute or so of weeping, you felt your breathing settling into a natural the apple calmly on the table, you felt no emotions. Your mind is in a complete standstill. You picked up the phone when it flashed the unknown number.

You let him speak, you let him text. You let him die. You fell unconscious and woke only to find that your loop has restarted again. He called, you answered, you didn't bring the notion of love. He hangs up, you called, he texted and once again you heard his strained breathing. You found yourself laughing.

You repeated the cycle, leaving him straining for air. You laughed even more, with each loop you laughed harder until tears started to form. _If this is your fate, to trap in a never ending cycle of guilt. Why not have fun with it?_

The loop started, you kept your phone close to your body.

"I'll come see you" You say with such enthusiasm that it scared you. You lost sight to who you are, what have come over your body? You did not care enough to wonder anymore. He gave you his address, You walked the rest of the way to his home, you found yourself embracing him while he draws you close to his body.

You felt his smiling lips pressed against the top of your head, taking in your scent. He chuckled, a lowly purr of both hope and glee. You felt his heartbeat against your ear. It was beating as faster than your own heartbeat. He held your hand, you held his. The small action was enough for him to advance forward, your actions assured and his tone was happier than before.

Leading you inside his home, both of you settled at the edge of his bed. He offered warmth. You declined. He stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, as if memorizing all the features you had, as if he was in a dream. You saw a glimpse of his face, the sadness and the pain. It ate you up inside.

He leans in, you met his lips. Your eyes fluttered close, blocking other sensations except touch, His warmth and softness filled passion driven into the kiss. You couldn't help but moan, he chuckles as both of you drew back. The usual conversation took place, with each lie you felt your own sanity waver.

He leans in to a softer whisper. "Because I love you"

 _Love_. The words echoed through your mind. You don't know anything about _love_. Well-aware that what you are feeling now is lust and purely lust. _How could you_? With little empathy, you asked him to call the suicide hotline. His smile fell, he felt betrayed. You pushed on.

"Fine. I will" He said, a stone dropped and made an uncontrollable ripple in your stomach. "then I would like my privacy" his voice was stone cold and you could feel his stern gaze at you were icy.

You found your hand raised and gently pressed against his cheek, cupping it meekly his warmth seeping into your rather cooler skin. He was surprised by your sudden gesture, you felt him stiffen for a quick moment before melting into your touch. You drew your hand back down, he let a soft whimper come out. "I don't trust you"

"You would be right not to trust me" He said grinning. You held your ground as he leaned to kiss you. For a moment you left him, eyes fluttering close. You felt his tongue slip and brush your lower lip. You drew back and slapped his across his cheek. The slap not only woke him, but your own consciousness also… your lust drive took off. Leaving you in a nervous wreck.

He laughs, smiling so sweetly and innocently. As if your violent action had only made him fall in love with you more. He had a soft grip on your hand, he placed it against his cheek. Melting once again against your touch. You could feel the tired lines and sunken eyes. Well known cases of being deprived from sleep, he doesn't let go for the longest time. You felt him slide your palm down to his lips. He kissed it gently as he tried, but you feel the hunger within him. He had the nerve to tease you, and that was the only push you needed.

You pegged your weight at him. Down on all fours, you found yourself in the similar position of your terror. _No, it's happening again_. He asks you, shakily you answered the same answer like before, tears dripping from your eyes and onto his face. He frowned, upset about how he this whole situation turned.

"… I have a gun in my desk" he begun. You faltered, body trembling. He bit his lip, his own voice hitching. He blamed himself, he hated himself more now for making you cry, the only person that have showed much care for him, he only caused you pain. "I suggest you shoot me and put us out of this misery."

 _No_

Before you could even think, your hand reached for the gun, aimed and pulled the trigger. You were stunned to even move, you only screamed while everything happened. His mouth pooled of blood and soon his body went limp under you. You fell onto his chest, weeping. Blood staining your face and your clothes. You stared at the gun, with tears overflowing and mixing with his blood. Sticking the barrel of the gun into your mouth. You pulled the trigger.

You fell asleep

 _You failed_


	8. Ending 7 : Risky Love

Chapter 7

Ending 7 – Risky Love

Authors Note : Lemon Warning. You may skip that part if you wish.

* * *

You woke-up with a sharp gasp. Ice cold air filling out your lungs in a hard slap. You feel as though you have resurfaced from the water bed, drowning in numbing acid. Coughing up something non-existent. Your hands traveled to your chest, face, neck and head. You found no bullet wound present anywhere on your body. You could not fathom what you have done before. It was the darkness thing you could have ever done!

You could still feel the trigger's cold curve under your finger. You felt the hard electric run through when you did pull. You have shot the gun through his chest, the vision was blurry but you felt every pain and every sting. You felt his warm blood pooling between your legs as they stained your skin. You could still taste that rust metallic tang of the barrel. You sunk your head against your palm. Your phone vibrated and your heart leaped.

You wanted _see_ him.

You wanted to _watch_ _over_ him.

You wanted to _be_ with him.

You just _want_ him

You agreed to see him, the conversation already a passing like a motor reflex. You were already out your door front, not even bothering to lock it. You followed the directions; you arrived much earlier than expected. He opened the door happy to see you none-the-less. He drew you near his chest and you welcomed his warmth. He invites you in, hand-in-hand. Your heart beating faster with every passing minute. You suddenly felt the pang of a familiar need.

You accepted his invitation of warming you up, and that only fueled the need of him more.

"I love you so much" he says while enveloping you into his warm embrace, a light hearted chuckle escaped him. His soft, calming whispers had steadied your heartbeat. His hot breath touching your skin sent shivers and pleasant flutters across your abdomen.

You had leaned against his chest, listening attentively to his rising heartbeat, hands still entwined within each other's gasp. He kisses the top of your hair in a tender moment; he placed his free hand under your chin making you face him. He leans to your lips and you met his. Your whole body felt the slow fire heating up your system, you noticed how the air suddenly humid.

"I want to hear everything about you" he whispers against your ear. You had the faintest blush creep on your cheek. He combs your hair with his fingers, tracing your jawline lovingly. He leans for another kiss, but you held him back. The look on his face was rather dejected but he waved it off with another grin. You told him that you wanted to know more about him, and frankly. You wanted to know his name, however another thought came to mind.

"What do you want to know, love?" He assures you.

There was something you wanted to know for a while but now you think about it, the thought came rather silly. You held his hand, asking for attention. "Is that… is that a blanket on your head?"

"Hm? Oh yes" he seems embarrassed about it, you gave a soft chuckle, he sighs but held his gentle assuring smile.

"I can't say I felt getting out of bed as of late. Or having a proper meal. Until now"

You had smiled at that and he relaxed at the sight of your happiness. He talks and you listened. Light hearted compliments and banter filled his rather barren and quiet room. Then he asks your reason why you loved him. Deeply so, you don't have a reason. Other than you wanted to be a good person, and save a life. Yet in the case such as this, that reason was sounds selfish and could end deadly.

"Because I felt that way"

He smiles but his voice is unconvinced. "mn… that's very dangerous, I might be a killer for all you know". You have heard of this a dozen times, his concern for you was touching.

"I need not worry… even if you are I would still be with you"

His expressions, it was priceless, you could have laughed out if it wasn't for the covers hiding his face. Even under the covers of his blanket, he was taken aback, he laughed wholeheartedly, carelessly as if the weight suddenly was heaved off his shoulders. You kissed him again, You could feel his own need growing. He softly groans into your mouth, eyes closed tight.

Hoping to block out anything but his kiss. He pulled away first, but you brought him back. Mouth parted with her tongue beckoning him. The stranger indulged you, willingly letting your tongue explore his mouth but not without a playful push from his own. You both lean back panting, a string of saliva and hot air left both of you. He grins satisfied by having made a good enough message with you.

The lightness left you and suddenly you are back with the realization of uncertainty. You need to remind yourself of your true goal, you called for his attention. "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything" he replies.

"Call the suicide hotline." As expected his face darkened and the air became heavy enough to feel it. He spat his words hurt and betrayed. You had stopped him midway. "I didn't say I did not love you!"

His head turned to you sharply. "Do you?" He leans close, his body tense and fragile at the same time. He threatens you, you stood your ground. Knowing that he won't do anything to hurt you. "you don't scare me…" He chuckles. "but you should." He placed his mouth on you, parting his lips so his tongue would flick your lower lip, you nibbled on his lower lip. He groan under the action, he seemed to have gotten excited. He grins again, defeated. "You like that, don't you "He presses his forehead onto yours, eyes closed and voice trembling. He wanted to violate you, you can see that well enough. He wanted to have you then and there.

In total honesty, you wanted to have him too. He tries so hard to stop himself from touching you except your hand. He hadn't unlaced his fingers, if anything they were brought closer. Afraid that you might run, afraid to be alone, despite his actions his voice casted a different intention "So, you'll just let me have my way with you?"

"Will it stop you from hurting yourself?"

He seemed afraid now, for himself and for yours. "You shouldn't give yourself away so easily like that"

"Least of all for a stranger like me…Really, what if I were to tell you that I am a killer?" He physically winces, like as if he remembered the most monstrous vision of himself.

"That I know what it is like to crush someone's heart, to see the blood drain from one's skin…" he pauses, his voice barely a whisper. "… and the warmth from one's eyes?"

Could he have done those things? Was he truly a killer? You stubbornly pushed the thought, if he was just a killer looking for a victim. He could have done so from the moment you first entered this loop.

"I don't believe you"

"You really, really should" He leans against you, resting his head on your shoulder, lovingly and tenderly. You could feel hope seeping through his every word. "Why do you care about me?" You felt a lump in your throat, but you managed to swallow. "Because I love you "

"A-Ahaha Is that so? You love me?"

You felt that blissful smile forming on his lips. You placed both hands on each side of his face, lifting his gaze to look at you. You moved and kissed him, he returned the kiss with such passion and hunger. Like a starving man he consumes you with a single gasp.

 _You both looked like a lovely couple_

 _What would you do now?_

You did not remember moving, but you were suddenly under him He had his elbows perched on each side of your head, providing support as to not crush you. Your own hands were wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to your skin. He was on all fours, purring with delight. Both of you still engaged in lust driven kiss. You drew back for air, eyes lazily open.

He dove to the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of warm kisses increasing in pressure upon reaching your collarbone. You couldn't help but giggle at his actions, his eye slid up to watch you. His lip still on your collar bone. "ticklish are we?" he teased

You pouted at him, "shuddup'…" He laughs. You smiled settling back down to his bed. Your hands reached for his cover, he kept still. You took it off, for a moment he shyly looked away. "no…" you said softly, cupping his cheeks to made him face you. "oh, you have eyes after all" you joked, earning a soft chuckle from him in return.

"…mon coeur" he started, barely a whisper. "are you sure about this? Do want me to do st-" you pressed your lips to his again. He melts under your touch. "yes."

The word made something inside of him snap, his gentle loving grin turned hungry and sinister. You suddenly feel vulnerable. He goes to kiss you, more forcefully now, his hand travelled to your sides then under your back, pulling the strap of your pants loose, you suddenly feel weak under his fingers. You begin to doubt your actions. He pulls one of your legs up an, then he slides between them. He had already managed to strip your pants halfway, unbarring your left leg then he moves to take of the rest. He sits up and throws the blanket off him. His eyes hungry, you saw your reflection within his lustful eyes, legs spread apart, half-naked and all his for the taking.

"You look frightened, Mon amour"

And indeed you were. Frightened and aroused at the same time. He leans in and kisses you gently on the lips. "Don't be afraid. I might be hungry … but I am a patient man. I'll be gentle with you, I promise my sweet kitten"

That did little to reassure you, but the kiss melted any more thoughts before they could form. He had removed whatever clothing he has, and now leaned to aid in stripping yours. You sat up, still engulfed in your kiss, pausing only to pull off your shirt over your head. He settled you back to bed, his eyes brushing over to your features. Visibly hardening, he smiles.

His hands wandered over your body, cupping your breasts, massaging them with his warm hands. He takes one of them to his mouth. It felt stupidly good. You found yourself moaning, at the sensation of his tongue ravishing the supple flesh of your chest. Your hands dug into the covers of his bedding.

He lets it go with an audible pop. He chuckles at the sight of you, resisting. He finds it incredibly adorable, being the one in control of this entire evening. You gave him the reason to feel powerful.

Lifting up one of your leg, he pushes himself into you, careful as to not provoke you. His intension only to tease your entrance, Letting the feel of his growing member excite you. He felt you tremble against him, a needy shiver. He licks his lips. "tell me, have you done this before?" he asks in a low whisper, when you didn't answer. He only chuckles. Tapping his fore and middle finger on the soft cress of your warming core.

You couldn't help but whimper, he smiles at you having already a finite answer. "Oh. Already excited, are we?" he teased, watching your reddening face with such fondness. Slowly plunging both fingers, your walls closed and clenched tightly around his digits. Greatly satisfied by your body's reaction he leans again to leave happy trails on her neck and chest.

He knew that you will be having trouble with his size, he wanted you to not be in any pain, only pleasure and love. He pulled his fingers covered in your steamy fluid. He goes above you, pressing himself against your chest. He then moves your hands from his bed sheet and onto his shoulders. Offering some support that you could use.

And you already had your nails digging at his skin. "Hold onto me as much as you need to…" he whispers. Preparing his throbbing organ to meet yours warm entrance.

Ever so slowly he enters you. An inch in and he had already groaned in both pleasure on how your walls clenched around him, and in slight pain from the way you dug your nails onto his back. Rolling your head back, with both your eyes and mouth clenched shut, whimpering and gasping on how he had stretched you already, and still you feel your walls clenching tighter.

Another inch in and you felt his organ throbbing. Mouth agape releasing a ecstatic moan, your thighs trembled, as your knees closed to his hips. You hear him give a low chuckle, he had placed his hands on your knees and carefully lowered one down. Slightly leaning you off to one side, raising your leg up propping it by his hip. He leaned forward, taking your mouth with his tongue, exploring every tooth, each of their crevice and bumps. Toiling and lolling with your tongue. The fire blazed through your system as he have pushed his full length in you. The stretch was painful and it took you a few moments for your walls to adjust to the newly placed. Gasping and panting, the flame growing and growing. Engulfing both of you in an intense sensation. He moved in and out of you. Shifting your position ever so slightly as to not hurt you more than it should.

You rolled your head back, and he had his resting on your shoulders. Thrusting into with much of his strength, the bed creaking under both of your weights. The activity went on, waves of deep love and lust mixing with each of your skin touching. Shining sheens of light sweat covered both of you. Growing accustomed, you had wanted him to reach your core deeper. Tugging at his hair sent shivers on his end. Watching your expressions, only aroused him more. Having you with him all night made him want to go into that much deeper.

He loved hearing the sweet noises you made. He loved the small shivers and trembles and rush. You felt your limit breaking and you did not hesitate to release, he had come to favor your fluids as he released his seeds as well.

Tense was all your muscles, and with one breathe both of your muscles relaxed.

He fell limp ontop of you, drained of energy to move. "Ooof! Aha, You're heavy!" you laughed upon impact, trying to lift him off your body. He groans and just snuggled closer to you. Exhausted but happy, his heart bursting into rays he had never felt so powerful.

For the longest moment, you stayed at the position, running your hands along his hair, tracing and combing the strands of his long un-kept locks. You found yourself humming a song. He looks up and pressed his forehead against yours, eyes shot and a gentle more human smile placed ever so carefully, no words were exchanged, no sounds were made. Just one tender moment shared.

He kissed you again, although you felt that it was somehow softer, more shy. You couldn't help but giggle at this. He let out his own lowly chuckle. He rolled beside you and nestled close. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist pulling you close until you felt your back pressed against his chest. Both your breathing synced. You placed your hands on top of his, pulling one away to kiss his knuckles. Your fingers slipped between the gaps, he holds your hand in a firm but gentle grip. Securing the hold into an embrace.

He begun to whisper sweet soft words into your ear. Promising, Begging and Pleading until he slowly fell asleep and in a short while ...

 _you both fell asleep_

* * *

Authors Note: O-ey! O-ay! Welp, that wasn't the ending I was going for but … meh… The next 2 chapters will be played entirely different from what happens within the game (but with some similar elements )since… I think, in terms of how I presented this fiction, plays out just right. Oh! And as you might have noticed. This is my first lemon work… I know haha! Ive never experienced one myself… so … that scene might have been a bit lack luster.


	9. Ending 3: Keep your eyes on me

**Ending 3 : Keep your eyes on me**

.It wasn't the first time that he felt this; how time seems to slow and stop, his experience with this particular time, however feels quite lengthy but the cold feeling that he usually expects to come creeping around him, to his astonishment, were delightfully absent. Bundled beside him is the woman whom he have kissed with so much passion that he felt his heart be torn apart. His new found light is asleep soundly and peacefully, he noted with a soft expression. Leaning closer, running his tired fingers down the length of your bare back and arms, checking your breathing steady and calm. He brushed a few strands of your hair away from your light cheeks, careful not to disturb you from your light somnolence.

He loomed over you, his cheek resting on the base of his knuckles, his gaze brushing over the soft and smooth curves of a miraculously crafted woman. He had the urge to run his free hand to follow the soft flow of skin, he settled instead by pressing his lips against yours, gently as to not wake you. _Ah, How soft and sweet_. He thought with a dreamy expression.

 _How long has it been since I last was kissed?_ Pulling himself back and watched as your chest rise and fall, his eyes then went back to your mouth, it is shining against the little light that manage to come through a glint in the window. _Such cherry lips-Those cherries fairly do enclose of orient pearl a double row._ He presses a thumb against your lower lip, slowly and carefully. It was still damp from the kisses both of you shared, his lips tingled at the memory. A faint glittering sensation went about him, but left as soon as it came... _but they will not cry "cherry-ripe" for me._ He sighed sadly, removing his thumb and settling back to bed. Facing the ceiling, staring at some begotten empty space as if it was something so interesting.

Closing his eyes, trying his best to fend off any emotions that would destroy him and his control. A man could only keep still for so long. The image that went up to his mind was that of yours, it made him smile and a silent chuckle managed to escape him. Resting his free arm over his eyes. He had the image of your determined expression. Warm colored eyes filled with such strong emotions. He couldn't point what exactly those emotions were. Not in mere words anyway, but he knew well enough that he could feel them still. _Are her eyes threatening with piercing frowns to kill?_ He had recollected the smirk he had prepared as he says his witty remark, they were simple yet provoking _Then, just kill me already._

He wouldn't mind if the woman beside her was the soul-reaper that came into his abode. _There are worse ways to go than by this woman's gentle hand._ He whispered, lifting up his arm just a bit to look at your sleeping face again. He had spotted your shoulder exposed and noted that you were cold, he reached out to fold the blanket and tuck it to preserve your warmth. The pads on his fingers brushed against your blushing skin. His thought wanders. _I wonder if she's ever been touched before. She's so soft like virgin snow._

You let out a provoking groan, almost silent but the mere whisper and weakness of its volume made his entire body stiffen, the movement had made more strands of your tangled mess of beautiful colored hair back on your features. He had his fingers brush more lost strands away, truth be told, he felt wonderfully sinful, extremely dirty being here so near you. He continued to trace the lines of your jaw, thoughtfully and carefully taking in the details of each dips and curves and soft lumps of skin. _But even if she has been, I wonder if she's ever been kissed like this- as gently and as warmly as a lover should._ His soft smile was quickly replaced by a pained frown, he felt his heart wrench at the sound of the word. _Lover_. Slowly he felt the numbness take over the center of his chest. Spreading slowly and simultaneously with ache and laughing shrieks of his demons. Why did he bring his hope up. That was the last of what he wanted, false hope. A fool's gain.

The woman beside him was only doing the moral thing for a human to do, save him. Indeed, a selfish act to escape the guilt of knowing of his current darkness. Once again the fingers of his self-loath gripped him. Its nails dug into the skin and muscles of his throat. He could choke. The thoughts of the passing time, grind realization that felt like sandpaper over fresh wound. He winces. He had violated you. He had already touched and felt and sinned. Driven by mad impulse, he blamed himself for getting with this too far. How could he. He had no proof of your feelings towards him. He had no proof that you shared any of the same vehemence but pity and the drive of doing good. He was, after all, nothing more than a worthless man. A worthless man unfit to hold such beauty near him…

He felt the weight of his bed shift, eyes down to see your body closer to him. How did he not notice you move? a better question? why were you searching for _his_ warmth? Your features tensed, as if your were now on the verge of breaking. You seem afraid; in his mind. You have every damn right to feel afraid. He had placed the back of his hand on your cheek, ineptly shushing your worries.

He was ready for you to wake up and scream, to hit him and call him monster, but your reaction to him tugged his heart further into uncertainty. You relaxed against him, and seemed to be thrilled and endeared by his presence. _Now, why doesn't my little kitten run from me? Does she not know that a scoundrel far worse than I would have defiled her?_ The covers slid off and exposed you're already naked figure. The sight had woken up the hunger, slowly swelling up his center. _How I would love to lick her up, eat her gently, and make her cry out my name._

Accounts of this night, he knew that you have already done so… numerous times. He's delighted as to accomplish pleasuring you. His hands were traveling up your legs now, slowly caressing the inner thighs. He stopped midway, just before he could have defiled you further. _No. I don't want to hurt you, don't want to ruin you, don't want you to make you fall - fall like all the other pretty flowers._

He did not notice that his own breathing were hitched and ragged. Drawing himself away, he let out a gasp. His shaking eyes saw a man appeared again. The very same man that haunts him. A mirror version of himself straining his lungs and throat. Staring at him with murderous eyes, his teeth clenched and bared. His hands grabbed the sides of his head, forcing the hairs on his scalp.

He knew what that man wants, that shadow of a man. He knew his intentions so well, dark and twisted, he knew the grin he's showing now. Head down and ashamed, he saw the man's gleaming menacing eyes wash over your sleeping body. He felt the hunger and the intangible itch ran through him. That agonizing itch, running across his neck, wrists, legs and core. You were in grave danger, must he lose control of his already broken mind. Let the man take over and feed on you like a filthy cannibal. You won't survive before sunrise. He can't let that happen. He had to go. He need to spare you, he needs to save you…

His hands shook, the bones and muscles of his body ached while he lifted his weight up from the bed. The glint of the metal barrel of the pistol greeted him. The smile of a demon appeared it was welcoming, yet frightening. Twisting his heart and guts into heavy knots. His breathing hitched, beads of sweat started to form on his cold skin.

Heavy and piercing, the gun's handle rest idly on his palm. He sat on the edge of the bed, teetering with the killing object from one hand to the other. Both limbs were shaking and afraid, relieved and confused. The emotions boiling down the back of his chest, twisting and screaming then leaking silently out his eyes. Just one gentle squeeze and it will be all over. Just one gentle nudge and the pain would go away. Everything will turn to black, and then he would feel nothing. He rose the barrel upward, pressing it against the lower mandible.

He felt the cold rim against the small patch of skin, just one squeeze. His numbed finger already placed against the curve of it's trigger. It was so easy. His mind went back to the woman he would soon leave behind. Flashes of her face haunts him now, eyes glittering with hot messed tears. He does not deserve those tears… he does not deserve any affection. He had to do it, to save her. His death will do more good than a small harm of his suicide. There are far better men more suited for her… the thought had left a dull ache within his chest.

Warm slender hands embraced his lower abdomen, you apparently have woken up, he felt your wet cheeks gently pressed against his bare back. A lump formed from within his throat. " _Please...No"_

He heard you whisper, he felt your hands rise up to meet his own hands, removing the tensed grip off the gun. Your fingers were so delicate yet such strength were buried within them. The gun now disposed off, she placed them solicitously under the creaking bed. Both of his hands now empty. You religiously placed yours on his, filling the spaces between the lonely clasps.

You had pulled him back to lie down to bed with you. Sound was dead to both of you, only the occasional shifts of sheets under both of your bodies. You were below him, as he resumed position on top of you. No words were exchanged neither of you moved. You raised your lips to meet his, but he pulled away. Sitting up with worry, you reached for his shoulder. He caught them, desperately holding them. "C-Can you not feel my hunger - straining at the edge of reason, clawing at the front door, begging to be unleashed?"

Despite of the seriousness of the situation. You could not help but laugh a little within yourself at his choice of words, you were thankful for the darkness, hiding any possible signs of amusement that had escaped your facial features… It was the night's atmosphere, you could feel your heart racing and your mind wasn't quite right yet, but seeing his painful expression. Consciousness returned you. He was staring down at the covers, almost at his breaking point. You open your mouth to say something but was cut off immediately by his mouth.

Out of nowhere he suddenly snapped. Pushing your body down, and striking your breath hard. Drawn aback you panicked and yelled out in pain. He paid you no mind, he dove and helped himself. His mouth came crashing onto yours again and again. His tongue ravishing all the walls, biting your lower lip, sucking it with vigor and madness. You tried to join him and his pace, but couldn't match. His gentle demeanor completely non-existent. Handling you so mercilessly and roughly, you were sure that it would leave bruises. He then ravaged your skin, biting ownership on your neck and collar. You let him, drinking the pain. Letting only gasps and small spasms escape you. He stopped when he tasted blood. His grip loosened and his weight on you were drawn lighter.

With hot tears brimming out his eyes, falling onto your reddened cheeks. "Come now. Strike my face, so that I may laugh. Spit at me, call me a dog, punish me. Finish this stage play and walk out of the scene, so I can finish this final act!"

You blinked at that. You felt his grip loosen, then he smiled. That tear stained smile that made your heart sink and drown. And with a quiet voice, he whispered. "Thank you for the memory of your precious kiss, your stolen warmth, your sweet scent. I will take it with me when I go..."

He felt your grip tighten around his arms, he places a gentle kiss on your lips, you felt the heat forming from the rough kiss. You felt the bruise forming. Another smile, "Now, why won't you tell me goodbye? Are you rooted in fear, paralyzed with shock? Is it pity for this wretched stranger? Or do you, perhaps, feel something for me?"

You twitched in surprise. He laughed. "Ahaha! That last one's a riot." Silence fell back shortly, once the last of his laughter subsided, he found your hand cupping his cheek. He pressed himself against your skin, breathing deeply and softly muttering of what it seems to be prayers. His free hand fell on top of yours, pressing your skin deeper, he nuzzled himself into your wrists.

"But if it were true…mm, I do enjoy making you feel good, but would this not simply be infatuation of sorts? And however improbable as it may be, I do not want something as airy and feather-light as that. Neither do I want something as short-lived and capricious as desire." a soft intake of breath, he gazed into your eyes. "I want your _love_."

Pulling him closer, so that your mouths are just a mere breath away. You kissed his cheek, his lips and his tears. _Be gone_. You whisper, you continued this trail of affection until your foreheads are pressed against each other. Him, with his eyes closed. Enjoying the warmth of your body so near him. "... you can have it."

* * *

AN: The dialogues here are from this post … post/153847651600/dttrisk-his-thoughts-when-you-dont-resist Please enjoy the rest the fanfiction :D


	10. Ending 2 : Stay with Me Forever

**Stay with me Forever**

Collecting what is left of your composure. You had erased whatever is slipping under your eyes. He was alive and you were too. It only means that you've made the right choice… you had to, right? If it wasn't the right choice the loop would have started again.

It's selfish to pity him, it's selfish to think that you just did what you did for the sake of saving him. You must have had some _feelings_ towards him, right? Else why would you have gone through great lengths to save him. A voice argued that you didn't have a choice that you were stuck there even if you tried to ignore him. _You had no choice._

And it's true, you had no other options presented… you were needed to save him by some otherworldly power (if you would dare think of it that way) and frankly you did. So, is this mission accomplish?

The other voices inside your head were helpful and needy, trying their best to reassure you that you have done the right, but you felt the cold fingers of something telling you the opposite and for what it's worth. That cold harsh voice overpowers all. You glanced at him again, he's shoulders and back expanding and deflating calmly in sync with his breathing.

You leaned against him, brushing some of his hair off as pressed a light kiss on his temple. He groans and shifted towards you before sighing in the most contented breath. Slipping carefully off his bed, having found your clothing sprawled onto the floor. You began to dress yourself, before giving your body some good stretches. You tried to steady yourself, but from what happened last night, you were still sore. Despite his gentle touches and reassurance, he would often let the affection hungry persona slip through and ravage there.

You felt yourself blush.

Heading towards his kitchen, opening the fridge to find that it is completely empty except for some cheap canned beer and a few bottles of water. Nothing you found was suitable for making a good breakfast. After a few minutes of fondling and searching over to some empty cupboards and cabinets. You decided that you'll go out and buy something to eat, but that would need you to leave.

A flash of his face bloody on the floor had washed over you. You swore that you almost jumped at the vision and faint, your heart began to race. You aren't sure if it is safe enough to leave him yet. You thought that best of it, silently thanking whoever created the concept of modern technology. you went back to his bed, and took your phone from atop his desk. Glancing back to his sleeping position, reassuring yourself that the nightmare was over and you had indeed saved him.

A thought came to you, maybe it's a good time to call that hotline… you bit your lip for a the longest second. When the tension released, your lip plump with blood, you shook yourself awake then dialed fast food.

It didn't take long for him to wake up, after he felt the breeze run cold and the weight of his bed subtracted. He felt the pang of fear within him. He hears you opening the door and speaking to what he assumed is male voice. He had the most undesirable thought. _Has she finally called the police? Or maybe some clerks at some mental hospital? Why was I expecting such hopes? She isn't mine to begin with. Ah, this pain again…_ The room about him tensed and suddenly darkened. He heard the voice disappear and the door shuts again. That is when he sat up, hair messily tousled about his face.

"Kitten?" he calls. You were just about to return to him with a tray of breakfast, you wished you could offer more home-cooked than a wrap of burger and a grandè sized orange juice. He sees you and all at once his expression changed into relief, you could hear his fears blow out as he exhaled.

"Sorry, I... did I wake you? I just had food delivered" His eyes watches over you, he feels filthy all of the sudden, having remembered last night and how sinful his actions was for having his way with you. He could feel the guilt burn and sting. _I am such a worthless piece of human abomination… so unworthy of your kindness._

"Kitten, you shouldn't have" He says, smiling all the same, watching you settle the tray on your lap as while you took your seat on his edge of the bed.

"I figured you were starving…" you say to him, poking the straw into the hole of the plastic cup, before handling it to him. "hope you like orange juice" you smile hiding whatever emotional insecurity you have creeping behind you. You could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes, his hands have shyly took the plastic cup from your hands. As if afraid to touch you again.

You felt as if though the cold fingers of that one voice pry into your skin. You didn't feel pain, no was it physically unpleasant, but that voice touches parts that you didn't know could feel disturbance. You saw his eyes scan over you and his smile disappeared. He knows too well, he knows the feeling of those dark fingers.

"About last night, Kitten. Please forgive me for being so forward."

You unwrapped the burger, avoiding eye contact. He continued to talk

"What happened last night, I know that all of that were a product of our need and desperation… nothing else. So please, I beg you not to think that it is your responsibility for the act. If anything, I should be the one to blame for it "

After those were said, nothing came after but silence. No one moved. After a good long minute, you decided to break it, whatever this man could have done, or would have done was passed overdue. He was too fragile now to even move, he wants you still to be running away from him, and yet his eyes begs for your presence.

"Why is there a need to blame?" You ask as you continued to fold the paper wrap from the food. You could easily hear the relief. Your eyes found their way to him and you could see the faint glimmer of hope from within them. "You've taken care of me all night last night, you were gentle and caring. Despite how much you managed to tease me…" You heard yourself laugh. He leans against you, his head forehead resting against your crown.

"Food's getting cold. " You took his free hand from his lap and pressed the burger between his palm and fingers. "bon appétit" You say in your best French laced accent. He laughs. Looks like your accent needs a bit of work, but you feel happy that you made him laugh. You felt light and relaxed. He was in need of so much care, everything about him was broken and fragile to even touch.

You both know that everything happened because of your stress and circumstances, but you regarded that as just a mere by-factor for something more. He begins taking bites off his food and you begin to chew on the large fries you ordered. Sharing small innocent jokes and banter at his bedside. Feeling comfortable, and wholesome. You felt as if he wasn't as mysterious and frightening as you opposed him to be.

A dorky sweet-talking jerk. You have come to think of him at this moment. Sloppily he had managed to spill a small drip of mayonnaise on his still bare chest, just above his left breast, he groans as he stares at it in disbelief. Still coming to from the earlier fit of giggling mess he had managed to deep you into. You felt rather daring. "I got it" you say still giggling.

He had expected you to hand him a tissue, or have you wipe off the spill with one, but that wasn't the case, you have leaned over and licked the condiment off with the most innocent goofy smile. You left him rather red and dazed. You had only took a second to realize what you have done was something out of your control, but surprisingly you didn't regret it one bit.

More silence loomed, but the quiet was a comfortable one. Both of you took turns wiping stray meat juices off each other's cheeks and lips. Small lazy kisses were exchanged between gentle touches. He took a breath, crushing the now burgerless paper wrap inside his fists. "When I invited you over, you should have called the police. I was waiting to hear their sirens. I was waiting for their flashing red and blue, so I could paint _my_ world red."

You eyed him intently, he continued. "I would have died… and they could take my body wherever they liked..."

"Probably some nameless grave, some cold grave, one given solely out of the state's regulations and rules. What would my headstone read? Here lies John Doe, who died on such and such a date? How bland and uninspiring _._ "

You saw him shake, fist starting to clench and tremble. You placed your hand atop his knuckles, rubbing the muscles in hopes to sooth them. He didn't pull away, nor did he look at you. He continued on with his speech.

"Yes, they would find my body. Then, I would not have to wait for somebody's dog to catch a whiff of my rotting remains and lead his unwitting owner to my gruesome sight."

A flash of imagery came to you, the same exact pathetic place above a deepening red pool.

"Nobody would have found me otherwise. But that would have been a waste of my house. It is a place somebody else could have enjoyed. A place somebody else - a family maybe - could have loved."

He sighs, taking your hands in his. Looking at your eyes in such deep passion.

"But there was also a chance you would come. You gave me hope…except, a glimmer was all that it was." _Just like all those other times when I thought I had found what I was looking for, who I was looking for_

He leans in, and you met his. Eyes closed to feel only your lips in his. Soft and loving for him and dare he think _only for him_.

You parted first, breathing into the hot air you've created. He smiles at you. Almost mused.

"You don't even flinch? How can you keep gazing at me with those beautifully shining eyes? Looking at me like any other human being" _almost like I'm not a mess._

He laughs at the face you made, which only made your heart ram into your rib cage harder. His laugh, throaty and heavy. The exhausting sound seemed to be carrying weight into your ears. Like he's still chained up to more concrete blocks by the ankles. He let you lead, watching you climb and straddle on top of him, eyes never leaving. The smile that never faltered. You offered a kiss, he kisses back with equal want.

 _You don't know what these hands that are touching you have done._ He thought as his curved fingers slithered under your shirt, soothing the tense muscles, he knows exactly where to apply ecstatic pressure. How he had mapped you so quickly. _What unforgivable things. Foolish things. You only have wisps of stories and guesses you can't even be sure are true._ "I love your innocence." He whispers.

You felt him heat your core, heat your heart and soul. Burning in want, to have him. To keep him safe. Parting from the kiss, pressing each other's forehead. "So, you'll just let me have my way with you?"

He poses this question with perfect casualness, he watches your expression as he does not shrink back even an inch. Surely you have already noticed that he gives you no reason to think he intent on carrying out his words to actions. This man, this stranger you met on the phone who had full intent on killing himself when you first met. After such events that seemed to be just repeating over and over that left you scarred for the unknown.

This man who had whispered such sweetness into your ear

This man who had such gentleness under the crumbling shadow that threatened to break him.

You somehow knew that he needed an anchor, a tie, a grip on sanity. _Stuck in a loop until this man is saved_ Your ever helpful voice reminded you. _Stuck with a strange man, a killer, a murderer, a shows' man, an actor._ True, unknown poses an infinite line of _what-ifs_. A mysterious man should deserve a mysterious woman, right?

And truth be told, You would absolutely kill to have his way with you.

Authors Note : This will be the final chapter of this fanfiction. Thank you all for reading and waiting 'till the end! Please support Poison Apple Tales, the genius creator of DTTR at **.com** give them the love!


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